a box of wonders

I shared about me churching –my term for ‘going to church’ — no more to some best friends yesterday. It was our first reunion in the last two years, and well they didn’t seem to be quite easy taking on my explanation. You see, I was a very charismatic leader back in the highschool days, and just last nite I swear I could see the swollen ache in their faces and eyes as my next life pages following the graduation is unfolded. Poor them.

Tho I was not surprised to get such reaction (which is typically found on anyone), little I was ready for their being cold and unfriendly as soon as I spill the mystery out. It isn’t a mystery, in fact, since it’s already a widespread rumour that I’m no longer active in any church ministry. I always think of them as my best friends. Eventhough they might first felt uneasy to hear about it confirmed officially from my own mouth, I was expecting that they’ll be tolerable in just seconds or probably minutes. “They know I’m a man of facts, that I won’t do anything without proper reasons …” But I was wrong.

They felt sorry for me. They ALL, nine of them, cringed with I-pity-you-oh-my-dearly-lost-brother crooked sad smile. It went on like for years, with their surging eyes meeting mine, as if craving for stories of bitterness hidden somewhere in my deepest soul. I don’t know if they ever found it. Maybe they did. I dunno. One thing I know for sure is that I never grow such in my heart.

They felt sorry for me. They all. Interestingly, I felt sorry for them feeling sorry for me. I was about to explain them about what’s going on in this world today, what philosophical ground we’re living currently, how the culture has shifted from universalism to personalism, etc etc… but their crooked smile… their prideful nodding heads… their sense of spiritual maturity… ah, those things refrained me from a useless explanation effort.

“Yeah, I’m churching nomo… does it make Jesus loves me nomo too…” was my last resort for them.

“…You’re the burden I won’t let go…” -Keigo, Kamisama

Ah… campur aduk perasaan gue gara-gara nih film. Maraton mulai dari episode 1 ampe 6, berhenti tiga jam buat tidur, terus lanjut lagi ampe tamat episode 12. Sedih banget, as well as inspiring, in mellowy sense.

Rasanya panas, marah and berontak sekaligus nangis tiap kali kebayang lagi scenes nya. Gue ga tau knapa jadi mellow begini ya, padahal jelas gue tau itu bukan real-life experience. Ataupun mungkin di luar sana ada orang yang ngalamin mirip seperti itu, but at least yang di film itu gue tau cuman skenario belaka. Seharusnya gue ga terlalu kepengaruh dong. Tapi justru sebaliknya, gue kepikiran terus. Warning buat yang tertarik nonton Kamisama, there are potential spoilers ahead, so proceed with caution.

Masaki (Fukada Kyoko) kehilangan tiket konser Keigo, seorang komposer terkenal yang fotonya penuh di dinding kamarnya. Nyari uang buat beli tiket baru, dia ngikutin anjuran temannya untuk jual diri, cukup sekali check in saja. The totally inexperienced highschool student slept with a remarkably ugly client, terdesak kerinduannya untuk ketemu bintang pujaannya… She did get the money for another ticket. And she also got a surprising bonus. AIDS. (more…)

Asia lagi diserbu ama trend internet baru, namanya Friendster. Gue taunya sih dari Chris di 2k and heran banget ngeliat dia promote yang begituan. Padahal yang gue liat dia tuh ga pernah interested dengan hype internet sama sekali. Misalnya blogging yang gue promote abis-abisan, and dia nunjukin antipati to such activity. ^^ Tapi kali ini dia sampe buka thread khusus buat introduce nih program baru and sekalian ngundang 2kGers lainnya joinan dalam network dia. Woalah… Ada apa nih, Chris? Hehehe.

Gue mah ga tertarik sama sekali pas dengernya, but akhirnya join juga, dikirimin invitation ama Ryonn. Dia kayaknya very into it, so gue penasaran banget. Udah dua 2kGers yang sebelonnya keliatan biasa-biasa aja, tapi skarang jadi slutty gitu ngasih invitation ke orang-orang. Hahahaha! Anyway, pas gue gabung, bingungnya minta ampun. Tuh developer web kudu perbaikin lagi konsep and navigasinya. Susah banget nangkep apa aja yang bisa kita kerjain di sana, at least untuk 5 kunjungan awal. And argumen itu gue dapetin juga dari banyak user lainnya. Selain itu servernya juga lemot banget. Gila deh, kadang-kadang down lagi. Payah dah. Setelah gue perhatiin, ada tulisan versi beta sih, so pantes aja belon beres banget service-nya. But users-nya udah segitu banyak, kapan mau release full versionnya? Ga jelas juga. (more…)